filling up.

PTSD is something that most people associate with veterans. If it's not talked about in relationship to vets or severe trauma, it's sometimes just joked about in a very lighthearted manner (which is problematic yes, but that's not what I'm going to focus on here). The truth is, however, that PTSD can affect any and … Continue reading filling up.

testimony.

When I was four, I accepted Christ as my personal Savior. I grew up in church, and from Sunday School to Youth Group, we were always working on writing, memorizing, and sharing our testimony. Over the years, it changed somewhat, but there was always a pattern that went something like this: I accepted Christ at … Continue reading testimony.

trust and obey.

When Michael and I moved a few weeks ago, we sold most of our stuff. We kept our books (obvi) and some clothes and kitchen stuff, etc., but we sold all of our couches and chairs and our kitchen table -- so the big stuff. As we're starting to (slowly) furnish the house, it's quite … Continue reading trust and obey.

keep yourself in love.

I tend to be pessimistic and self-deprecating. I tend to think in terms of "the next disaster." I tend to assume things are going to fall apart. Somewhere along the way, I allowed myself to grow hard. While this attitude isn't a mental illness, it can certainly be exacerbated by having conditions like chronic anxiety … Continue reading keep yourself in love.

slowly.

Slow is a really hard word for me to practice. I like going, going, going -- marking things off, and feeling my anxiety about the once un-did thing dissipate, just to be replaced by something else. Moving cross-country is hard. Starting a new job is hard. These are both very involved processes, where there are … Continue reading slowly.

the cake.

"She just doesn't like it." These words were said when I passed on a piece of cake at a recent birthday dinner I attended. And to be honest, it's why for years I always stayed home from birthday dinner outings. Recently, I shared -- quite excitedly -- with my husband about how proud I was … Continue reading the cake.

the velveteen rabbit.

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit. "Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt." "Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?" "It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes … Continue reading the velveteen rabbit.

hi, i’m tamara.

"What does it feel like?" he asked, while we hiked along Bear's Den through the pine needles and summer humidity. Strange. We'd only been friends for about 2 hours and 45 minutes, but I'd already told him some of my darkest secrets. Hesitating while I searched for the right words, I realized he was the … Continue reading hi, i’m tamara.

hi, i’m muriel.

A note on this work: I have always secretly wanted the experience of sitting in a coffee shop writing a blog post. At the age of 25, I am proud to have achieved that life goal. “Time, as it grows old, teaches all things.” - Aeschylus Stuck in time. Those are the words that intuitively … Continue reading hi, i’m muriel.

neda week.

National Eating Disorder Awareness week (February 25 to March 3) is an interesting time for those of us with eating disorders. A lot of people "come out." A lot of people share recovery stories. A lot of people talk to their friends and family members about signs that they have an ED. A lot of … Continue reading neda week.