neda week.

National Eating Disorder Awareness week (February 25 to March 3) is an interesting time for those of us with eating disorders. A lot of people "come out." A lot of people share recovery stories. A lot of people talk to their friends and family members about signs that they have an ED. A lot of … Continue reading neda week.

a not so welcome surprise.

Last Saturday I had plans to join in a D&D [Dungeons and Dragons] one-shot with friends. It was Christmas themed. I had designed my favorite character yet and really invested in her backstory and skills. I had a Christmas sweater, a festive hat, and I had planned a bunch of holiday treats to bring. I … Continue reading a not so welcome surprise.

asking for a friend.

This past week I had someone ask me about how to be a good, supportive friend to someone with an eating disorder. Although she did tell him that she has an ED, he mentioned that he notices worrying behavior, and he doesn't know how to respond to it. He felt like he could ask me … Continue reading asking for a friend.

changes.

Our cat, Loki, has been on Prozac for a couple of weeks, and it has been a miraculous transformation. I do not say this lightly. A month ago, he was spraying everywhere, scratching his hives, losing hair, and crying if I shut him out of my office. Now, he does none of these things. And, … Continue reading changes.

ashes into beauty.

Last week, I was given the opportunity to witness to someone. It wasn't a huge gesture. I didn't have my Bible. I didn't quote scripture at them. It was completely unexpected. It just started from a real, no-frills conversation with someone that I work with but didn't know very well. We talked about everything from … Continue reading ashes into beauty.

be patient.

This week my husband has done an incredible job of supporting me. I know it's not easy living with someone who is mentally ill. And I'll always feel guilt over the fact that I didn't "come out" as mentally ill before we were married. I didn't intentionally deceive him. I just thought I could manage … Continue reading be patient.

the disbelievers, the pathologizers, and the empathizers.

Typically family members will be the first ones to learn of a loved one's mental illness. Living day to day with people, it becomes hard to hide certain parts of one's self. Sometimes, out of desperation for help, people will either confide in those close to them or act in a way that makes it … Continue reading the disbelievers, the pathologizers, and the empathizers.

the gratitude myth.

After the week (and to be honest, weeks) I've had, I've decided that when I go in for my 3-month checkup with my doctor I'm asking for a higher dose of medication. It's hard to admit this. I worry that it sounds like I'm giving up/in and announcing I'M WEAK AND CAN'T COPE. I have … Continue reading the gratitude myth.

recover(y).

re·cov·er·y (rəˈkəv(ə)rē/) noun 1. a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength. 2. the action or process of regaining possession or control of something stolen or lost. I've come to accept that I will always be in a state of recovery. As the first definition states, it is a process of returning to … Continue reading recover(y).

the roller coaster.

For the most part, I consider my depression/anxiety to be fairly stable. In other words, I'm always generally depressed/anxious, and I have a few panic attacks throughout the week. It's routine, I guess. But there are moments throughout the year where I lean more towards the bipolar disorder spectrum. One week feels like I'm playing Mario … Continue reading the roller coaster.