framing.

Last weekend, I decided to frame my college diploma. It had been in a box under my bed, and I honestly wanted to forget about it. But I felt that I owed this to myself. It's not because I'm particularly proud of having a degree or feel the need to remind myself and others of … Continue reading framing.

reason to stay.

One thing you might not know about me is that I am afraid of heights. But it’s a little more complicated than you might think. It’s not that I’m afraid of falling. It’s the fear that I might give in to the urge to jump. Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. Thankfully, being actively suicidal … Continue reading reason to stay.

spoons.

As an "academic" (as much as I loathe that phrase) with a research focus in disability studies, I have recently become more familiar with the spoon theory. I think it's a useful disability/illness metaphor as it visually represents what it's like to live with a certain condition. Photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash The theory gained traction in … Continue reading spoons.

hi, i’m bela.

I don't want to do this. Even as I am writing this, my hands are shaking, my mind is racing, and my heart is fluttering. I don't want people to know this side of me. I don't want to let my guard down. I don't want to seem weak. I don't want to be vulnerable. … Continue reading hi, i’m bela.

head meets heart.

Last month was Men's Health Month. Statistically, it is estimated that 1 in 10 men struggle with mental illness. However, men's diagnoses often go undiagnosed, as men are more likely to ignore or downplay their emotional wellbeing, rather than seek counsel and acceptance. The stigma against expressing their deepest feelings is so strong that men choose … Continue reading head meets heart.

tapestry.

I was pretty angry towards God and pretty bitter towards his world. How could a loving God blind me? Why? Anyway, [he, the priest, said] God's plan is like a beautiful tapestry, and the tragedy of being human is that we only get to see it from the back, with all the ragged threads and … Continue reading tapestry.

resolve.

Last week I got a new tattoo. Some tattoos I have simply because they are pretty or represent something I like. Other tattoos have deeper, subtler, often very personal meanings behind them. This new ink involved the latter. If you've been reading the blog, or know my story in any capacity, you're aware that I … Continue reading resolve.

difference.

Over these past couple of weeks, two lovely people (Muriel and Tamara) have shared their stories on this blog. Next month the site will go under construction as I revamp the layout, add regular contributors, and jump-start a site that features consistent content and useful resources. When I started this site, I had no idea … Continue reading difference.

hi, i’m tamara.

"What does it feel like?" he asked, while we hiked along Bear's Den through the pine needles and summer humidity. Strange. We'd only been friends for about 2 hours and 45 minutes, but I'd already told him some of my darkest secrets. Hesitating while I searched for the right words, I realized he was the … Continue reading hi, i’m tamara.

neda week.

National Eating Disorder Awareness week (February 25 to March 3) is an interesting time for those of us with eating disorders. A lot of people "come out." A lot of people share recovery stories. A lot of people talk to their friends and family members about signs that they have an ED. A lot of … Continue reading neda week.