managing.

In late August The New York Times published an article titled "How to Manage Mental Illness at Work." It couldn't have been more timely since I had just begun working full time for the first time in nearly four years. Previously, I had been a doctoral student, spending most of my time writing, at home, … Continue reading managing.

testimony.

When I was four, I accepted Christ as my personal Savior. I grew up in church, and from Sunday School to Youth Group, we were always working on writing, memorizing, and sharing our testimony. Over the years, it changed somewhat, but there was always a pattern that went something like this: I accepted Christ at … Continue reading testimony.

trust and obey.

When Michael and I moved a few weeks ago, we sold most of our stuff. We kept our books (obvi) and some clothes and kitchen stuff, etc., but we sold all of our couches and chairs and our kitchen table -- so the big stuff. As we're starting to (slowly) furnish the house, it's quite … Continue reading trust and obey.

hi, i’m bela.

I don't want to do this. Even as I am writing this, my hands are shaking, my mind is racing, and my heart is fluttering. I don't want people to know this side of me. I don't want to let my guard down. I don't want to seem weak. I don't want to be vulnerable. … Continue reading hi, i’m bela.

momentous.

I often get lost in big-picture thinking, but, if my ongoing recovery process has taught me anything, it's that the small actions are what counts. For me, these fall in to two categories: the small, repetitive, everyday actions (eat well, exercise, work, etc.) , and the small, spontaneous actions. The latter is where I really … Continue reading momentous.

keep yourself in love.

I tend to be pessimistic and self-deprecating. I tend to think in terms of "the next disaster." I tend to assume things are going to fall apart. Somewhere along the way, I allowed myself to grow hard. While this attitude isn't a mental illness, it can certainly be exacerbated by having conditions like chronic anxiety … Continue reading keep yourself in love.

slowly.

Slow is a really hard word for me to practice. I like going, going, going -- marking things off, and feeling my anxiety about the once un-did thing dissipate, just to be replaced by something else. Moving cross-country is hard. Starting a new job is hard. These are both very involved processes, where there are … Continue reading slowly.

head meets heart.

Last month was Men's Health Month. Statistically, it is estimated that 1 in 10 men struggle with mental illness. However, men's diagnoses often go undiagnosed, as men are more likely to ignore or downplay their emotional wellbeing, rather than seek counsel and acceptance. The stigma against expressing their deepest feelings is so strong that men choose … Continue reading head meets heart.

namaste.

Today, Friday, June 21, is International Yoga Day. It still amazes me how many Christians distrust the practice of yoga -- associating it with paganism and mystery. I've heard no small amount of sermons where pastors freely call out yoga and mindfulness practices as tools of Satan. They automatically assume that by practicing yoga you … Continue reading namaste.

heat.

By nature, I prefer autumn and winter. I like sweaters, fireplaces, halloween, hot drinks, and long-simmered stews. There is something so magical and comforting to me about it. That said, I pretty much feel cold year-round, so I appreciate the spring/summer temperatures wholeheartedly. I like to feel the warmth of the sun. But I like … Continue reading heat.