spoons.

As an "academic" (as much as I loathe that phrase) with a research focus in disability studies, I have recently become more familiar with the spoon theory. I think it's a useful disability/illness metaphor as it visually represents what it's like to live with a certain condition. Photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash The theory gained traction in … Continue reading spoons.

hi, i’m bela.

I don't want to do this. Even as I am writing this, my hands are shaking, my mind is racing, and my heart is fluttering. I don't want people to know this side of me. I don't want to let my guard down. I don't want to seem weak. I don't want to be vulnerable. … Continue reading hi, i’m bela.

namaste.

Today, Friday, June 21, is International Yoga Day. It still amazes me how many Christians distrust the practice of yoga -- associating it with paganism and mystery. I've heard no small amount of sermons where pastors freely call out yoga and mindfulness practices as tools of Satan. They automatically assume that by practicing yoga you … Continue reading namaste.

heat.

By nature, I prefer autumn and winter. I like sweaters, fireplaces, halloween, hot drinks, and long-simmered stews. There is something so magical and comforting to me about it. That said, I pretty much feel cold year-round, so I appreciate the spring/summer temperatures wholeheartedly. I like to feel the warmth of the sun. But I like … Continue reading heat.

triggers.

This past week I had a good conversation with someone about triggers and eating disorders. It made me realize (for the umpteenth time!) just how different everyone's journey with an ED can be. There is no one set of symptoms that everyone shares. There is no meal plan that works for everyone. There is no … Continue reading triggers.

the cake.

"She just doesn't like it." These words were said when I passed on a piece of cake at a recent birthday dinner I attended. And to be honest, it's why for years I always stayed home from birthday dinner outings. Recently, I shared -- quite excitedly -- with my husband about how proud I was … Continue reading the cake.

resolve.

Last week I got a new tattoo. Some tattoos I have simply because they are pretty or represent something I like. Other tattoos have deeper, subtler, often very personal meanings behind them. This new ink involved the latter. If you've been reading the blog, or know my story in any capacity, you're aware that I … Continue reading resolve.

hi, i’m muriel.

A note on this work: I have always secretly wanted the experience of sitting in a coffee shop writing a blog post. At the age of 25, I am proud to have achieved that life goal. “Time, as it grows old, teaches all things.” - Aeschylus Stuck in time. Those are the words that intuitively … Continue reading hi, i’m muriel.

neda week.

National Eating Disorder Awareness week (February 25 to March 3) is an interesting time for those of us with eating disorders. A lot of people "come out." A lot of people share recovery stories. A lot of people talk to their friends and family members about signs that they have an ED. A lot of … Continue reading neda week.

because of your faith.

"And so you became a model to all the believers...The Lord's message rang out from you...your faith in God has become known everywhere." - 1 Thessalonians 1:7-8 "In all our distress and persecution we were encouraged about you because of your faith." - 1 Thessalonians 3:7 This week I have been reading through 1 Thessalonians … Continue reading because of your faith.