heat.

By nature, I prefer autumn and winter. I like sweaters, fireplaces, halloween, hot drinks, and long-simmered stews. There is something so magical and comforting to me about it. That said, I pretty much feel cold year-round, so I appreciate the spring/summer temperatures wholeheartedly. I like to feel the warmth of the sun. But I like … Continue reading heat.

triggers.

This past week I had a good conversation with someone about triggers and eating disorders. It made me realize (for the umpteenth time!) just how different everyone's journey with an ED can be. There is no one set of symptoms that everyone shares. There is no meal plan that works for everyone. There is no … Continue reading triggers.

the cake.

"She just doesn't like it." These words were said when I passed on a piece of cake at a recent birthday dinner I attended. And to be honest, it's why for years I always stayed home from birthday dinner outings. Recently, I shared -- quite excitedly -- with my husband about how proud I was … Continue reading the cake.

story of a body.

In crafting the first part of my narrative, I am unsure whether to make it a story about anorexia specifically. While anorexia is a disorder that controlled most of my teenage years and may have left me with permanent health problems, I choose to see it as symptomatic of the complexities of teenage anxiety, the … Continue reading story of a body.

one word.

At the beginning of 2019, my pastor preached a series of sermons that centered around choosing one word to cling to this year. After choosing one word, he encouraged us to choose one Bible verse, one thought, and one statement that were all tied to that one word. I like directed activity, especially as it … Continue reading one word.

tapestry.

I was pretty angry towards God and pretty bitter towards his world. How could a loving God blind me? Why? Anyway, [he, the priest, said] God's plan is like a beautiful tapestry, and the tragedy of being human is that we only get to see it from the back, with all the ragged threads and … Continue reading tapestry.

on change and aloneness.

My first year of graduate school ended this week. After returning some library books and meeting with my mentor, I headed back to my car congratulating myself on a successful year, but unable to shake a growing cold feeling in my stomach. In a few weeks, I head out to an academic summer camp at … Continue reading on change and aloneness.

a safeguard.

This week I have been reading through Philippians, and I love how each time I visit a passage I get something new out of it -- generally depending on my circumstances and God knowing what I need to hear that day. Oftentimes I skim those introductory opening verses because they aren't really the "meat" of … Continue reading a safeguard.