I was pretty angry towards God and pretty bitter towards his world. How could a loving God blind me? Why? Anyway, [he, the priest, said] God’s plan is like a beautiful tapestry, and the tragedy of being human is that we only get to see it from the back, with all the ragged threads and the muddy colors. We only get a hint at the true beauty of what would be revealed if we could see the whole pattern on the other side as God does. ~~DAREDEVIL, S3
A common response to mental illness and other forms of disability is that they are a design flaw, a failing, a sin, and we begin to underestimate the goodness of God. We get angry. We get sad and bitter. And we reject the notion that a loving God would make us or our loved ones this way.
We get caught up, as this quote from Daredevil points out, in the back of the tapestry. All we can see is everything falling apart, incoherent, and unjust. That is the tragedy of being human.
These past six months have been an especially trying time for me — job hunting, graduating, and an upcoming move — basically a whole lot of uncertainty that is compounded by my mental illness(es). But, as I’m learning, there’s a whole lot of beauty present during these times, too. It’s incredible to look back at my 30 years of existence and see how God has had a hand in everything. One major example is the creation of this website and how it has connected me with so many people — both Christians and non-Christians alike — who struggle with mental illness. In doing so, I have become more empathic, stronger in my faith, and more confident in sharing the Gospel.
All that has led me to this point in my life is more than coincidence. It’s the design of a good God.
I’ll be sharing more soon about the new direction God has given my husband and I, but, for now, I encourage you to live a life that actively trusts in the coming together of your own unique, well-crafted tapestry.
Hold on to the good.
If you have a story about mental illness—whether personal or concerning a loved one—please consider sharing your experience, either by writing a guest post, or doing an interview with me. Even if you aren’t at a place yet where you feel comfortable disclosing your name, the church body needs your voice. Let’s shine a light on the darkness, together.